Review: Things She Could Never Have

Rating: 4.5 Stars

I have never been very enthusiastic about short stories in English. While I love reading Urdu short stories, somehow English short stories have never held any fascination for me. Furthermore, contemporary Pakistani writers have, with the exception of one or two, always left me disappointed. It was these two factors that made me wary of reading this collection of short stories. In addition to all this, the biggest stress factor was that the writer, Tehmina Khan, is a new friend, and I was afraid that I might not have anything good to say about her book! The truth is, if I hadn’t liked the stories, I would never have written anything about them. It would have been just one more book that I read and forgot. Thankfully, I didn’t have to avoid writing a review. As a matter of fact, the reason it took me so long to write it was because I actually read a few stories multiple times to make sure I don’t forget anything!

For me, the problem with Pakistani fiction writers is that when they write about the underbelly or the lower strata of society, they sound quite condescending and judgemental; like someone who has never really experienced it but is seeing it through a window from the outside. This is okay when you’re reading about something you have no idea about, but when you are living in that society and have seen things with your own eyes, these writers start sounding fake and ignorant. I’m saying all this because I want to emphasize how big a surprise this book was.

There are a total of twelve stories, some interconnected by a common thread, while others just glimpses into the lives of different individuals. All of them are steeped in reality and a mirror to the society we live in. There wasn’t a single story where I felt like I didn’t know what the writer is talking about.

The first story, about a maid and her son sounds fictional, but unfortunately, it is very close to how we treat our maids, and how their children are ripe for manipulation and exploitation.

“To Allah We Pray,” tells the tale of how destiny works in strange ways to bring the most unlikely people towards their death as a young man, fresh off the plane from Canada, is convinced by his friend to offer prayers at a targeted mosque before proceeding to party with other friends.

In “A Stranger In My Own Home,” Khan tells the heart wrenching story of a trans woman who returns to her home after five years, to find that she still has no place there. Reading about the mother who tries to protect her “different” child, and who loves the child no matter what the sex, is like a true glimpse into the heart of a mother.

The titular “Things She Could Never Have” continues the story of the trans woman, Saleema, and her love for Kiran, and all things pretty. Tragedy, in the form of a suicide bombing at a mosque, takes away a life, leaving the other mourning the loss.

“This Is Our Secret” is the story of every house. It is the story of how an adult in a trusted position molests a little girl and asks her to keep it a secret. This story is also a documentary on our attitude towards these incidents in general. The girl keeps it a secret, until she tells it to her mother, who, while shocked and distressed, tells her not to tell it to the father. The real sad part of this story is what the little girl takes away from this whole experience. An eye opener for all mothers and sisters.

The thoughts and apprehensions of “The Engineer’s Bride” are familiar and very relatable to the majority of middle class girls who have gone through arranged marriages. Their looks play a big part in attracting suitors, and the main criteria of a “good” match is a man who is “well-settled” in life. The most important step in their lives is decided by others, and they are expected to immediately settle into whatever their fate has in store for them.

“The First” is a story that made me sad because, again, it is reflective of real life in college hostels. The young girls who come from all kinds of different backgrounds, form strong, unbreakable bonds and become each others’ secret keepers and protectors. How these girls become willing victims to men leading them on, and how they fool themselves into overlooking what is in front of their eyes, is what this story is all about.

Surprisingly, the story that really broke my heart and made me cry was the least tragic of all. “Flying In Andalusia” can easily be a true story of so many men and women I know in real life. In a society where parents have the final say in who their offspring gets married to, the result is often what is depicted in this story. It is most common to get a son married off to a “suitable” girl, even if he is interested in someone else. No thought is given to the said “suitable” girl, and she is expected to compromise and be satisfied with her lot. Oh, and she has to be happy about it too! This one made me feel really depressed and sad.

“Born On The First Of July” tells the tale of a family left shattered when their daughter leaves to join ISIS, and the callous way others treat the already bereaved family.

“Closed Doors” is, again, a heartbreaking story about a much-anticipated pregnancy gone wrong. There can never be enough words to describe what a woman goes through when she has a miscarriage.

Physical abuse of children is at the forefront of “Stealing Apples From Heaven”. A girl who is much-loved, is astonished to see her cousin being punished by her mother for a small transgression and her mind tries to come up with excuses for her aunt’s behaviour.

The last story, “Come Listen To Me” is different from all the rest of the stories. It is the reminiscences of an old woman about life after the partition of India and Pakistan in 1947. She relives all her experiences as she talks to her long-dead husband and tells him about her life since she left him to visit her parents. It is about the resilience of the human spirit even during the worst of times.

For such a slim volume (it is only 121 pages long), this book sure packs a punch. For everyone looking for good, realistic Pakistani fiction, this is one book you need to check out.

Review: The Woman In The Window

Rating: 3 Stars

The Woman in The Window by A.J. Finn was my most anticipated read this year. I had been trying to get my hands on it for months, but something always went wrong and I ended up not buying it. So, when I did manage to get it finally, I couldn’t wait to read it.

I wouldn’t say that I was disappointed, but I wasn’t blown away by it either. It was a good read, but nothing out of the ordinary in my opinion. The story was predictable with many clichés thrown in, and the setting was reminiscent of almost all domestic thrillers. What set it apart, for me at least, was the main character.

Anna Fox is a complex and well written character, and as I read, I became invested in this complicated, flawed, grieving woman. I think the writer wanted us to think of her as an unreliable narrator. Unfortunately, Anna, or Dr. Fox, as she likes to be addressed, is too strong and believable a character for the reader to doubt. Her struggles with agoraphobia and alcohol, and her separation from her husband and daughter, all seem too real and painful. And this vivid, almost real, character is also the weakness that makes this book lose points in my eyes.

The problem is the rest of the characters in the book. When you see a strong protagonist who makes you interested in what is happening in her life, you also want the other people around her to be as real and interesting. Sadly, none of the others could make any such impact on me. All of them seem like caricatures of the usual run-of-the-mill domestic thriller characters.

There were some things that I managed to work out early on in the book; like the reason Anna is separated from her family, or what part will David inevitably play in her life. The rest of it I guessed around the halfway mark, and it was disappointing to find that I had been right about almost all of it!

I realize that too much hype leads to too many expectations, which are very rarely met, but I have also read many books that have stood up to the challenge of rave reviews and a lot of hype. The Woman in The Window failed to meet my expectations, and apart from the one character, I couldn’t find anything that would make this book stand apart from other run-of-the-mill thrillers.

Review: American Gods

Rating: 4.5 Stars

This review has been a long time coming, considering I finished this book more than a week back, and have already written a review for a book that I read after this. The thing is, that I haven’t been able to gather my thoughts into something coherent. There are a lot of things that make me like American Gods by Neil Gaiman, and I want to be able to put them all into words.

Gaiman has a knack of creating memorable characters. From Richard Mayhew, Door and Marquis De Carabas from Neverwhere, to Shadow, Wednesday and Mr. Nancy from American Gods, Gaiman’s characters have a magnetic pull to them that makes you want to go on an adventure with them. They are endearing, exasperating, irritating and funny all at the same time. And they are working on two levels.

American Gods is a very interesting book even if you read it on a superficial level, without assigning any hidden meanings to it. It is the story of Shadow, who is released from prison after three years, only to find that his wife has died one day before his release. He is recruited by a shady man called Wednesday, who has some equally dodgy friends. What ensues is a roller coaster ride which is reminiscent of Percy Jackson, but for adults. In the middle of all this, is the abundance of mythology from all over the world. Reading it made me wish I knew more mythologies than just the basic knowledge about some gods.

As the events move towards an epic war between the gods, we are introduced to the two sides, the Modern and the Ancient, both fighting for survival and relevancy. And the battleground is the United States of America. It is this country that all powers want to dominate, and are willing to do everything to achieve this end.

If you read this book with an open mind, you soon realize that everything is not as it seems. When you first realize who Wednesday really is, you are compelled to go back and look at the story from the beginning, with new understanding and clarity. As the story progresses, it is evident that this book is also a commentary on present day United States, and how materialism and technology are rapidly taking over the society. Materialism had become the new religion, and as a result, faith in things like gods and divine beings has taken a back seat.

In American Gods, you see these forgotten deities and gods trying to fight to stay alive in the hearts of people. That they do it while being crazy and funny, is what the beauty of this book is. I have to admit, I am a sucker for madcap characters and this book has them by the dozen!

For me, American Gods is a winner, but it is not for everyone. It has mythological creatures and different gods, and for anyone not comfortable with reading about these, this book is not the way to go. If you’re offended by the thought of these mythological beings, then please stay away from this book!

Review: Behind Her Eyes

Rating: 4 Stars

After I finished reading this book, I couldn’t sleep that night! When all the reviews say that the ending is unexpected and shocking, they’re not kidding. I have read so many thrillers, that there aren’t many things that are truly surprising any more. Behind Her Eyes gave me such a jolt that I still feel weird when I think about it. There is a paranormal element in this book that makes it creepy and terrifying.

It is difficult to write a review for this book that stays away from spoilers, so I will try my best not to reveal too much here. The book starts off with divorcee and mother-of-one, Louise meeting and kissing David, a successful and attractive doctor, who turns out to be married. As if that wasn’t enough, he is also Louise’s new boss. Things become a bit awkward but both Louise and David decide to forget the past and behave like professionals.

Then Louise meets Adele, David’s wife. Adele is beautiful, easygoing, and very sweet. She loves her husband to distraction, and doesn’t have any friends. Louise is fascinated by this woman and perplexed as to why David would want someone else when he has his gorgeous wife. As we read Adele’s perspective, it becomes clear that things are not what they seem in this marriage.

As we go into Adele’s mind, it becomes harder and harder to decide who is the crazy one in their marriage. Louise, on the other hand, is a confused, frustrated woman who wants to be more than just a mother. There are times when you just want to shake Louise and tell her to get a spine. She comes off as another kind of crazy to me.

The book drags in middle and I lost interest because of so much repetition and a feeling as if things are not moving forward at all. This is the main reason why I didn’t rate it a full 5 stars.

The climax is so good that I can see it in a movie! It is creepy, shocking, and everything promised by the writer. But wait, what you thought was the climax wasn’t really the end. There is one more chapter that will truly make your hair stand up, and you will wish you had not read it. Because it turns the whole book on its head, and because you never see it coming. Read this one if you’re a fan of books with crazy twists and crazier characters.

Review: The Bat

Rating: 3.5 Stars

Sometimes, I’m too arrogant for my own good. Everyone told me not to start reading the Harry Hole books from the first book, because it will be boring for me. I refused to listen to them, because I’m arrogant like I mentioned above, and also because I’m a bit crazy, and not reading something from the beginning is anathema to me. Well, it took me 18 days, and I read three other books while reading it, but I finally managed to finish The Bat by Jo Nesbo. I’m so glad I decided to stick to it and not give up.

I wanted to say that the book starts off slow, but it doesn’t. I have read books with a much slower pace. It’s the story that seems so boring and fails to capture your interest in the first 100 pages of the book. I was ready to give up. There were days when I just looked at the book and didn’t want to read anything at all! I was just too stubborn to give up and have people tell me they told me so.

The book picked up speed, and my interest, after about 130 pages. Before that, the only reason I insisted on reading on, was that I had started liking the Norwegian detective, who seemed a bit unhinged. I have found a new favourite contemporary detective after Cormoran Strike! Harry Hole (pronounced Hoo-Leh) is a bit mental, thinks too much and is an alcoholic. He has a very complicated backstory, but that was perhaps the least confusing of all the stories in the book.

I can see why people think that The Bat is not the best book to introduce Harry Hole. The story itself is very cliched. A Norwegian girl is raped and murdered, and the police is trying to find the murderer. Harry’s government has sent him to help in the investigation and tie up any lose ends. If it had been a normal whodunnit, it would have been easier to read, but it is not your average crime thriller with a swashbuckling hero.

Every character in this book has a story to tell, and these stories range from stories of their life, to stories of their parents’ lives, to stories of Aboriginal legends. It becomes too much to sort through the relevance of each story to what is happening in the book. However, this was the reason I decided to stick with the book. It was interesting to relate all the stories to what was going on in the book, and it gave my mind some much needed exercise! I had my suspicions but, like Harry, I couldn’t be sure.

There was also this feeling of affront because all the female characters were only good for one thing, and that was not bartending. Then I remembered that this was written in the late 90s when macho detectives did everything themselves, and poor females were either the victims, or extremely grateful to said detectives. Still, it was good to read about a hero who has little to recommend him, is an alcoholic, and is guilty of a lot more than what his superiors are willing to admit. I just hope there are better female characters in the other books in this series.

In the end, I was glad that I had stuck by this book. It gave me an introdution to a well-loved character, who I am beginning to like. Next time however, I will take others’ advice and read the third book instead of the second one, if only to keep my sanity and to keep my reading progress on track.

Review: Homegoing

Rating: 5 Stars

“Evil begets evil. It grows. It transmutes, so that sometimes you cannot see that the evil in the world began as the evil in your own home.”

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi is the kind of book that leaves its mark on the reader. It spans centuries and generations in only 300 pages. It reminded me so much of Alex Haley’s Roots, in that it takes your heart and shatters it into pieces. Of course, while Roots is like a full length movie, Homegoing is more like snapshots of a family’s journey through the centuries. It reads like fourteen short stories connected together by a familial thread.

I come from a country which used to be a British colony, and our history books are full of how the colonists came and exploited our resources and ruled us for centuries. Every kid knows of their atrocities and injustices. Yet, we can never even imagine the havoc they wreaked on Africa. The echoes of their evil are still heard all over the world, and the Africans are still paying for crimes committed centuries before they were even born.

Homegoing starts off as the story of two sisters, born from the same mother, who never meet in their lifetime, and whose destinies are as as different as night and day. One marries a white man, a slave trader, while the other becomes a slave. One stays in Africa, where her descendents struggle with their identity, while one is taken to America, where her descendents struggle to stay alive. As their stories play out, you are given a glimpse into American history itself.

The prose is beautiful, some lines so profound, that you have to come back and read them again and again.

“The need to call this thing ‘good’ and this thing ‘bad,’ this thing ‘white’ and this thing ‘black,’ was an impulse that Effia did not understand. In her village, everything was everything. Everything bore the weight of everything else.”

As one side of the family is challenged by the changes taking place in Africa, it is the other side, the slaves, who are going through trials that no human being should have to face. Yet, all characters are unique individuals, who fight their own battles and face their own challenges. You are shown many faces of bravery, many forms of resilience, and underneath it all, the strength of charcater and the will to change things for themselves and their children.

Even though the book ends on a hopeful note, it is heartbreaking to realize that things haven’t changed all that much over the centuries. The colour of your skin still makes a difference, and where you come from still matters. This book has left me with a heavy heart and a real sadness about how human race has failed to learn from the past.

I think this book is a must read for everyone.

Review: The Missing

Rating: 3 Stars

The Missing by C. L. Taylor, is the story of a family torn apart by the disappearance of their son/ brother. Billy Wilkinson, a troubled fifteen-year-old, goes missing after an argument with his parents. Six months later, there is still no sign of Billy, and his family is splintering under the stress and uncertainty.

Claire Wilkinson, Billy’s mother, feels it in her bones that Billy is still alive, and so, she is eager to send out a second appeal for information. At the press conference, things don’t go according to plan, and Claire begins to realise that her family has been keeping secrets from each other. All of them have a reason to feel guilty about Billy’s disappearance, and slowly the truth begins to unravel in front of Claire’s eyes.

On top of all this, Claire starts having blackouts, waking up in most unusual and scary places, with no memory of the preceding hours. In these circumstances, as you read on, you realise that Claire, as a narrator, is not so reliable herself.

The book is fast paced and interesting. It shows the stress that families go through when a loved one goes missing, and how every individual has a different way of dealing with the stress. There is also the element of teenage angst and rebellion, and the unpredictability of a teenager’s mind. The overall picture that is painted here, however, is creepy and somewhat disgusting.

As the mom of a teenage son, I was not comfortable with reading about a delinquent fifteen-year-old and his rebellious attitude. There are some things that become horrifying when read in the context of a teenager. It is so in this book as well. The truth, when revealed, is so disgusting and revolting, that you wish you hadn’t read it.

As a story, there is suspense in the story, until about halfway through, when the message exchanges between two unknown individuals start making sense. From there on, you are almost sure about what must have happened. Still, the story keeps you interested till the end, which in my opinion is a bit of a letdown. After using such language, imagery and story arcs, the end seems too tame and predictable to me. Nonetheless, the book is interesting and worth a read if you are a fan of dark psychological thrillers.
Warning: This book contains sex, strong language, and Paedophilia.

Review: The French Girl

Rating: 3.5 Stars

I bought The French Girl by Lexie Elliott while I was just browsing around the bookstore, waiting for my kids to make up their minds about what to get. I had never seen this book around and had no idea about ratings and reviews. Fortunately, when I scanned it on my Goodreads shelves, my phone started acting up, and I couldn’t see the rating for this books, nor even one review! So, this was one book I really went into blind.

The story revolves around a crime committed a decade ago, which has just come to light. The body of Severine, a 19-year-old French girl, is discovered in a well on a farmhouse in France. The girl was last seen with six Oxford students who were on the farm for a week during the summer, 10 years ago. With one of them dead, suspicion falls on the remaining five, who have all gone on to have successful careers.

Kate Channing had never liked Severine, and that last night of the holiday remains one of the worst memories of her life. But now, Severine has come to haunt her, and her own memories of that last night seem to be changing. As the investigation proceeds, Kate realizes that for one thing, Severine’s ghost will not leave her alone, and for another, somehow she has become the prime suspect for the murder of the girl. As it dawns on her that she has been wrong about everyone who was with her that week, she must figure out what really happened that night, or risk losing everything she has worked so hard to achieve.

The book started off with Kate getting the news of Severine’s body being discovered, and immediately things start happening. So, the book grips you from the beginning as you follow Kate, who is the narrator of the story. As you get used to the speed of things, the pacing slows down about a quarter into the story. For a while it seems like nothing is happening, and you’re just wasting time. This, however, does not take away the reader’s interest because by now, you really want to know what really happened.

There is no real mystery about the culprit here. Even though a couple of characters are made out to be mysterious and cryptic, there is only one who is the villain of this story. The thing that keeps you reading is the great narrative, and that very, very thin thread of what seems like a creepy, supernatural phenomenon!

The plot itself is average, and there are many things that are too predictable. From the first time you read about Tom and Kate’s friendship, you know that there will be a romantic angle somewhere along the way. Similarly, as soon as you learn about the pregnancy of one of the characters, you know that the author is too kind-hearted to make anything bad happen to the woman! There are many such things that come in the realm of cliches, but it still doesn’t matter, because you like where the story is going.

The French Girl is the kind of novel you take on a holiday or to the pool. You don’t need to be glued to it all the time, or having palpitations just reading it. It is a good thriller, which, while not your average egde-of-the-seat affair, is still interesting and engaging. I really enjoyed reading this one.

Review: The Hazel Wood

Rating: 4 Stars

Wow! What can I say about this book? Let me tell you right now that this book is not everyone’s cup of tea. Once in a while, a book comes along that you really like even when you can see the weaknesses in the story. This is one such book. I was transported into a world so dark and fantastic, a world of creepy fairy tales, that I didn’t really care about anything else but getting out of this world alive!

Alice is the grand-daughter of a once-famous author of sinister fairy tales, who she has never met. This is because for the seventeen years that she has been alive, she and her mother, Ella, have been running away from the bad luck that seems to be following them everywhere. When they get the news that her grandmother is dead, Alice and her mother draw a breath of relief and decide to restart their lives, believing the bad days behind them.

Then Ella is kidnapped and Alice decides to find her grandmother’s estate in order to free Ella. Her frustration mounts as she realizes that she has no knowledge of the fairy tales written by her grandmother about the fantastical Hinterland. With the help of a classmate, Ellery, who happens to be a fan of the Hinterland stories, Alice sets off to find her mother, and eventually, the truth about their lives.

As Alice and Ellery start their quest, you realize that nothing is as it seems, and the fairy tales are dark and full of horrors. The characters and the world they inhabit is chilling and deeply disturbing. There are no good guys in these stories, and Alice herself is a part of this world. It is a race against time, because time in Hinterland is not the same as that in our world. Years can pass in the blink of an eye, and days can seem to last forever. It is in this world that Alice has to fight her destiny and change her story before she is sucked back into it forever.

I always love a story that takes you into a dark world where you have to fight the demons inside you more than the ones on the outside. The Hazel Wood took me into this world, and all I can think about after finishing it is that I really want to read all these fairy tales. Someone, please find me a copy of Tales From The Hinterland!

Review: The Perfect Nanny

Rating: 4 Stars

The Perfect Nanny by Leila Slimani is a very disturbing novel. You know what is going to happen from the very first page, and you keep hoping for some twist that would make you realize that you were wrong. The twist never comes, and you are left feeling devastated at the end.

It is the story of a French family, where the mother wants to go back to work after having two kids. They are lucky enough to find a nanny, Louise, who ticks all the boxes for them. She is white, a legal citizen, with no family, and open to working at odd hours. In a city full of illegal immigrants working as nannies, Louise is a gift from the heavens. She has no entanglements, and her previous employers can’t help but sing her praises. For the reader though, she comes across as a bit creepy from the beginning of the book.

The threads of racism, sexism, class prejudice, depression and motherhood are all woven together in such a subtle manner that you only realize their existence once you look back at the story. The struggle of a mother, who wants to work and also feels guilty about leaving her kids at home, is very real. She feels resentful of the children for stopping her from achieving her potential, yet she loves them fiercely and doesn’t want them to grow up without her around either. Her feelings of worthlessness and her postpartum depression, are very real and relatable.

Then there is the commentary about race. There is a lot of talk about illegal immigrants and the problems associated with them. Almost all the nannies are persons of colour, and majority are immigrants, mostly illegal. That a white nanny will turn out to be the crazy one, is incomprehensible to everyone.

Another issue that runs throughout the book is that of class difference. The families try their best to think of the help as one of the family, but they never are. There is always awkwardness in social situations, and the difference in class makes itself evident one way or another. The way these families decide to be generous and take the nanny with them for a holiday, and then spend the holiday being awkward and regretting their decision, sounds too close to real life. In such circumstances, it becomes difficult for the employees not to build up expectations, and then be confused once the employer decides to take it all back.

There is the dependency of the nanny and the parents on each other. The couple is afraid to offend her because they rely on her, and also because they are uncomfortable with her social standing. The nanny wants them to be bereft without her, and feels offended when they seem to get by when she is not there. All this feels too real. When you employ someone, it is impossible to know everything about them. This is most dangerous when you’re entrusting them with your children and your home. Checking up on references can only tell you a little bit about them, and this book preys on this fear of the reader.

After reading this book, you will never want to hire another domestic worker unless they can provide you proof of their sanity. The reason why I said that this is a disturbing book, is that it tells you about the shocking and grotesque murder of two children, and takes you back to the events leading to it, but doesn’t give you the neat and tidy ending that you want. It solves no mystery, it shows no justice, and it gives no solace. It is just a story about a family and a nanny. It is chilling and scary, and it doesn’t have any answers.

Reading this book made me wish that I knew French and could read it in its original form. Translations can never capture the true essence of a book, no matter how good they may be. Such a book deserves to read in its full original form.

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