Category: humour

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Review: The Rosie Project

Rating: 3.5 Stars

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion is one of those books that lie around for years, ignored and unread. I got this book way back when it was first published. Back then there were no signs of it being part of a trilogy! Unfortunately, during the last few years, my threshold for light romances has been really low. With so many other options available, this book seemed destined to remain unread.

This year, with the quarantines and the lockdowns, I decided to do something different, and read something light for Valentine’s Day. I don’t regret that decision. The Rosie Project is a fun read, with minimum mushiness, and a surprisingly relatable male lead!

Don Tillman is a geneticist in search of a life partner. He leads a very disciplined and scheduled life, and wants to find a woman who is compatible with his lifestyle. It might seem like an easy enough project, except Don is somewhat socially inept, and unable to gauge other people’s reactions to simple situations.

For Don’s world is systematic and organized. There is no place for unnecessary emotion and unexplained actions. Everything has a time and a place. This is why he needs a woman who will accept him for who he is and not cause undue commotion in his orderly life. Since he is a scientist, Don sets about achieving his goal in a scientific manner. He prepares an in-depth questionnaire to be filled by potential wifely candidates. He figures that this scientific approach will go a long way in saving time and effort which he would otherwise spend on ineligible women.

Rosie Jarman is not suitable for Don at all. For one, she is a smoker. Then, she is a vegetarian who eats “sustainable” seafood. Pursuing her has disaster written all over it. But Don is willing to shelve his project for the time being, and concentrate on Rosie’s Father Project. What follows is a hilarious courtship that gets out of the hands of both the protagonists.

The one thing that I didn’t really like in this book is how vague Rosie’s character is. Of course, the story tells Don’s perspective, but Rosie remains a peripheral character, even when Don is doing everything for her. You never find out the real deal with Rosie, and it leaves a discordant note in an otherwise good book.

After finishing the book, I realized that there must be people out there who are probably offended by the portrayal of Don. The book hints at him having Asperger’s or at least being on the Autism spectrum. Sure enough, I found plenty of unhappy people. For me personally, it is a light-hearted book, not a commentary on Autism. It is better to treat such books with the same light-heartedness, instead of taking them too seriously.

For me, The Rosie Project was a good rom-com, worth reading especially for the fans of this particular genre.

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Winter Break: A COVID Story

Winter break. A time when everyone and their neighbour feel it’s their duty to travel. At least they did, until the world was hit by the Coronavirus, and it became prudent to stay put wherever you are. Thankfully, I have never claimed to be very prudent. And so it was that we decided to go back home for a visit with the family, stopping over at Dubai on the way.

The first shock came when our online application of a UAE visa was denied. It had never happened before. We visit UAE at least once a year since moving from Dubai around 4 years ago. Over the last decade Dubai has been like home to us, so a rejected visa was unthinkable and unprecedented. Fortunately, we found out soon enough that some processes were changed during the last year because of the havoc caused by Covid’19.

Once it was all cleared and we managed to get the visa, our tickets became problematic. Now, these are all very minor problems from the point of view of someone who travels internationally at least 4 times a year. Or used to back in the good old days! This winter, we wanted to defy all odds and see our family after more than a year of missing them. So, we soldiered on, making plans for an epic winter break, to wash away all the woes that 2020 had brought with it.

We landed in Dubai, happy to be back home, excited to meet our family. Two days were spent in this happy haze, and then disaster struck. The new strain of the virus, discovered in the UK, became a cause of concern for other countries. As a result, Saudi Arabia closed its air space and cancelled all flights to and from the country. We could be stuck away from our home for months to come.

Amazingly enough, other people seemed more worried about us than we were ourselves. There were concerned messages and calls from people around the world, friends and family alike. I told them all one thing: Let me enjoy my break. There is nothing to be gained by worrying about something that I cannot change. I was there to have fun, not worry about what the future might hold for us.

After making the most of our week-long stay in Dubai, we made our way to Karachi. Whenever we go back home, we know that no matter how long we stay, it will always be too short. There is just too much to do, and too little time to do it. Our original plan was for 10 days, and honestly, we were hopeful that the airspace will open up by that time. No such luck.

As days passed, we started becoming a bit worried. The kids had to start school, albeit online, and the husband had his work. There are always connectivity issues in Karachi because too many people use one internet connection, and it seems wasteful to buy new connections when none of us stay there for too long. This time we had to make alternate arrangements.

Three days before our return, the airline informed us that our flight was cancelled. It was time to worry. Last year, we saw people stuck in other countries for months on end; families separated, learning to survive without each other. At least we were all together. Still, the stress levels were at an all-time high.

As luck would have it, Saudi Arabia decided to open up their airspace…on the day of our original flight! Unfortunately, that flight had already been cancelled, and we had to book a new flight back home. That proved to be another adventure since every passenger on the flights cancelled during the three weeks wanted to book the earliest flight home! Luck was with us and we managed to get a flight a week from our original date of departure. But the story doesn’t end here.

Somehow, my middle son’s booking got mixed up and he had to get a separate booking. It was all normal, until all our seats were confirmed except his. So, another round of uncertainty started where we weren’t sure if we would all stay back with him or if one of us should stay and the others leave.

This continued until two days before we were to leave. Wonder of wonders, the airline people finally realized that he is a minor and cannot travel without a guardian. But by then we were under a different threat! Karachi became the focal point of an ongoing protest. The roads were permanently blocked, and getting to the airport was downright impossible! The 20 minute journey from our place was taking 2-3 hours!

We planned and prepared for the worst, but 10 hours before we were due to fly, the protest abruptly ended. Our way was clear. It was a miracle how things were working out for us even in the most adverse circumstances. God is truly great, and works in mysterious ways. This winter became memorable for us like no other winter before.

There is a whole other story of the fainting woman in front of us, while we were boarding the final leg of our flight. And the delay in flight because someone decided to get off the flight and they had to perform a whole security check! *facepalm* But these stories will make this even longer.

I am forever grateful that we managed to spend amazing time with family after a long time. This winter break goes in the family history as one of the most happening and happy times of last year. All of us needed this end to the strangest year of our lives.

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Review: Salt And Saffron

Rating: 3.5 Stars

Salt And Saffron by Kamila Shamsie is a light-hearted book about family history, class divisions, prejudices and familial love. Shamsie has created a fictional aristocratic family, proud of its roots that go back many centuries. She has used this family as an example of the elitism and caste system deeply embedded in our culture in the guise of family values and pride.

The very name of the family, the Dard-e-Dils (the Heartaches), is so unreal that you know what will follow can only be satirical and tongue-in-cheek. This family, the Dard-e-Dils, is proud of its heritage and they love to tell stories, mainly about their ancestors. Most of these stories are about the “not-quite” twins. These “not-quite” twins have been born quite frequently through history, and have always brought about the downfall of this family.

Aliya is the main protagonist, going back from the US to her family in Karachi, by way of London. She last talked to her Dadi (paternal grandmother) 4 years ago when they had a massive falling out. After avoiding her for 4 years, Aliya thinks that it’s time to heal the breach. But first, she makes a stop in London to see her older cousin with whom she is very close. And it is there that her own story seems to take an unexpected turn. She not only finds herself attracted to a boy who might be unacceptable to her family, but also meets the Indian side of her family.

The Indian and Pakistani sides of the Dard-e-Dils refuse to acknowledge each other, and still carry old wounds from the time of the partition. Aliya learns something about herself during her meeting with her Indian relatives. This makes it even more imperative for her to go back home and figure out what she wants from life.

Essentially a love story, Salt And Saffron also takes a look at the deeper consequences of the Indo-Pak partition; the deeply ingrained prejudices that are passed down through generations in the form of class and caste. How family history is written through stories that become legends as time passes.

Kamila Shamsie is an excellent writer and it is hard to find fault in her writing. She takes very real elements from her surroundings and turns them into a riveting story. The only problem is that since this book is written from the perspective of a particular class, it might be difficult to relate to for people who do not belong to that class. However, this does not stop me from appreciating her craft and her command of words. She is definitely a master storyteller.

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Review: Mythos

Rating: 3.5 Stars

When it comes to humour, Stephen Fry is one of the big names. Be it Black Adder or Jeeves & Wooster or A Bit of Fry & Laurie, he has always tickled my funny bone. Then there are his narrations that are as famous as his comedy. All this, and the man is also a best selling author, Mythos and Heroes being proof of that? Is there anything that he can’t do? So, it should be clear from the start that I have a bit of a bias towards him, and there is no denying that he deserves every bit of this adulation.

Mythos is a retelling of the Greek myths that have been popular for centuries. We have all heard these myths in one form or another, at some point in time. Which leads us to ask the question: why read something that we already know? I don’t really have an answer to that. For myself, I like reading all the different versions of these myths because every writer has a different take on what actually happened, and which god is better or worse.

Reading about these gods and heroes is like reading any fantasy novel, with good and evil, except that in Greek mythology, no one is all “good”. Every god, Titan, hero, demi-god, mortal, or any of the hundreds of characters, has a grey shade. You like them in one story, and you hate them in the next. Such characters are obviously attractive to writers who want to explore these shades of grey.

Fry maintains a tongue-in-cheek manner while telling his version of the stories. His research is extensive and he has proper references for the material, it’s just the dialogues that are his own. He muses about the most terrible of gods in such a way that you can’t help but chuckle at his audacity. Mind you, this is not a laugh out loud kind of book, just some smiles and a few grins.

In addition to being interesting, Mythos is quite informative too. I have to admire the effort that Fry has put into explaining the myths and the etymology associated with them.

A fun book that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

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Review: Erotic Stories For Punjabi Widows

Rating: 4 Stars

Well, that was crazy! Of course, I knew that Erotic Stories For Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal wasn’t all about erotic stories. At the same time, that is exactly what it was all about! An adult English literacy class for widows, in a community center, next to a Gurdwara (A Sikh Temple) gets derailed by the determined widows, and turns into a story telling session. This is how the book starts, and this is what the book is all about. Actually, not all.

Nikki, a college dropout, has spent her young life feeling pressured by her parents, and thinks that all brown people are like her family. Until she steps into Southall and realizes that maybe she didn’t have it as bad. Southall is like a mini Punjab; everyone knows everyone else’s business, and honour is held dear. Most of the older generation here doesn’t even speak English. Hence, the need for literacy classes for widows.

The Community Development Director of the Sikh Community Association, Kulwinder Kaur, is a formiddable woman. She herself doesn’t realize that what she wants and what she has advertised are two different things, unknowingly tricking Nikki into applying for the job. During the first class, Nikki realizes that she might not be up to the challenge, but her dismal financial situation stops her from resigning.

And then, these classes turn into something that Nikki could never have imagined! The widows defy Nikki’s expectations. Their ages ranging from relatively young to very old. They are not afraid to speak out. They let Nikki know their real interests. The more Nikki gets involved with them, the more she realizes the advantages of living in a community. Until she comes face to face with the dangers too. Now, it is only a matter of time before someone discovers what is going on, and all hell breaks lose.

Balli Kaur Jaswal has touched upon the gravest of issues with a light hand. At no point does it seem like she is condemning the whole Sikh community for the sins of a few. As with any South Asian community, there is a resisatnce to change and a reverence for norms and traditions. Things like respect for elders, segregation of sexes and contempt of adopting English “ways” is common in all communities, be they Sikh, Hindu or Muslim, from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. The widows, while dressed in light colours, are the most colourful characters that you can encounter in fiction. Each with their own story and fantasy, they take over the narrative and it’s hard to let them go. I was having too much fun reading about these women who society thinks are demure and paragons of virtue and chastity.

For a book with less than 400 pages, Erotic Stories For Punjabi Widows packs in a lot of relevant issues and ties them in a nice little package. It is a story of hope, determination, breaking off shackles, learning to stand up for yourself and your cause and making a place for tradition; but above all, it is a story about friendship. Friendship that transcends age, status, ethnicity or values; that makes you believe in the other person; that makes you run into a burning house to save them; friendship that you find in the unlikeliest of places.

A surprisingly light read, that needs to be read at least once

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Sunday Musings: Reading Makes us Judgmental

When it comes to the type of books another person reads, I will be the first to admit that I judge them. I make assumptions about individuals just because of their reading habits. This person has so many biographies in their bookshelf, they must be really boring; oh, there are so many religious books in this shelf, this person must be extremely religious; so many romances in this shelf must mean that this person lives in a dream world. And it goes on and on.

Everyone has prejudices and we tend to look at others through our own prejudiced eyes, deeming them worthy or unworthy of our time. For me, that prejudice resides in bookshelves and book stacks. This doesn’t make me an evil person. I don’t stop socializing with people just because I don’t like what they read. I just judge them silently, in the depths of my heart. No one knows about it, but I do.

In the same way, I feel like everyone is judging me on the books that I read; not because anyone has ever said anything to me, but because I have a guilty conscience. There shouldn’t be any problem if I read an odd romance or some religious text, after all it’s my own choice, yet I have to think hard about putting it out there on any social media. No one has ever called me out on my reading choices, so what is it that has made me afraid to put it out there?

I find that there is no answer to this. As long as I have my own prejudice, I will continue to be scared myself. Over the years, there have been many books that I have read because everyone was reading them, even if I didn’t really want to read them. This urge to do what is acceptable was the worst in my teenage and early twenties, when I read an average of 2-3 books a week to keep up with what I wanted to read, and what the world was reading.

Back in school, every girl I knew was reading Sweet Dreams or Sweet Valley High, which later gave way to Mills &Boon romances. There was nothing wrong with reading these, except that I only read them to appear normal. The truth is, that I was probably the only girl in my class who actually enjoyed reading the books assigned to us for our English literature classes, and who looked forward to borrowing books recommended by the high school English teacher! I didn’t want to be the class nerd though, so I compromised by reading everything. Thank God I have somewhat grown up after all these years!

Ever since I started my Bookstagram account and this blog a year and a half back, this urge has reduced exponentially. I find that I can only write about the books that I really want to read, and that makes me ignore all the books that I don’t really want to get into. Add to that the lack of time and energy for unwanted pursuits, I find that I have started reading for myself again. Now, I don’t read in order to appear well read, or interested in popular works, I just read to please myself and have a good time.

Unfortunately, that still hasn’t stopped me from making assumptions about others based on what they read. I realize that that makes me a horrible human being, but we all have our vices, and mine is to secretly and silently judge others on what they read (or don’t read)!

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Review: Born A Crime

Rating: 4.5 stars

I was very sceptical back when The Today Show replaced Jon Stewart with Trevor Noah, a comedian from South Africa, who very few had even heard of. He’s still nowhere near Jon Stewart, but over time I have come to appreciate Trevor Noah for his own unique brand of humor and wit.

For the past few years, I have not been a short story person, even less, a biography person. So a biography written in the form of short stories was something I had to think really about reading. As it happened, once I started, I flew through the pages. The memoir turned out to be a lesson in South African history that is hard to find in any history books.

“In America you had the forced removal of the native onto reservations coupled with slavery followed by segregation. Imagine all three of those things happening to the same group of people at the same time. That was apartheid.”

Born to a white father and a black mother, Trevor was illegal even before he was born. Forced to hide from public sight for the first few years of his life, he grew up alienated from other kids, hardly ever making any friends. That he chose to look back upon his life with humour and not bitterness, just shows how successful his mother was in bringing up a well-balanced human being under such adverse circumstances.

All through the book, the one thing that comes across loud and clear is Trevor’s love for his mother, and his acknowledgement of the sacrifices she made not only to have him, but to keep him as well. It is the story of a mother and a son, and their struggle to overcome all difficulties.

Despite all this, the book is not gloomy or depressing. It is in turns, funny, poignant, and heartbreaking, but not bleak. It makes you think, and it gives insight into the lives of a nation that is thought to be doing alright since the dark period of the apartheid ended. What everyone closes their eyes to, is the destruction apartheid left in its wake.

“People love to say, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” What they don’t say is, ” And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod.”

It boggles the mind how a handful of people, outnumbered by the natives five to one, managed to rule over the country, simply by dividing them and making them fight each other. This is the history that I want to know about. There is a lot in this book that resonates with me as a Pakistani too. After all, we may not have had it as bad as South Africa, but our country is also a product of colonial rule. Oh, and our parents also believed in not sparing the rod!

There’s a very funny story about Trevor’s friend Hitler, and it’s also a lesson in perspective. My son read the blurb and asked about it, and as I told him, I realized how valuable a lesson it is for him to learn! The book is full of such instances where you stop and think . About racism, about division, about language barriers, and about opportunities.

What I really want to do now, is to get an audio book, because I have a feeling it will be better in Trevor’s own voice.

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Review: Stardust

Rating: 4 Stars

Stardust by Neil Gaiman follows Tristran Thorn as he sets off on a quest to find a fallen star; and not just a random fallen star, but the one that his beloved Victoria Forester saw falling!

Tristran Thorn, born under strange circumstances, and brought up in the very boring and sleepy English town of Wall, has been in love with Victoria Forester ever since he can remember. Now seventeen, he wants to marry her and make all his dreams come true. Miss Forester, however, is not of the same mind. While out walking with Tristran one night, she sees a falling star, and since Tristran is making foolish promises at the time, she asks him to get her that particular star if he really wants to marry her.

And so it happens that Tristran sets out to locate this star and ventures to the other side of the wall that borders his town. Everyone knows that what lies on the other side is enchanted and magical, hence the need for the wall and the guards protecting the opening in the wall.

As an ardent Neil Gaiman fan, it is superfluous to say that I loved this book. I’m not a fan of fantasy, yet when Gaiman paints his worlds, I see them with my mind’s eye and start believing in these magical lands. Stardust is about another such place, where every character you meet, no matter how minor, is vivid and alive. Yet, Gaiman is not one for much detail. You will not see pages and pages of characteristics and appearances, which is why he appeals to me so much. I just need to know the basics, the rest I can imagine for myself, and I know that my imagination will be different from everyone else’s, and that will make my experience of the book unique to me!

There are many memorable characters in this book, my favourite being the seven sons of the Eighty-first Lord of Stormhold, and the Lilim. With unicorns, talking trees, talking animals, ships that travel on clouds, and the Fellowship of The Castle, this book is typical Neil Gaiman. I loved it, and no I don’t want to watch the movie. Sorry.

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Sunday Relationship: My Kindle and I. It’s Complicated.

I have a habit of complaining about how I don’t have enough space in the house for my books, and how my shelves are always disorganised. It’s more showing off than an actual concern, I think. However, people who don’t know me think it is a very serious problem, one that I want a solution to. And they have just the right solution for my problem!

The most obvious and easy solution is, of course, to start reading e-books. Get a Kindle, they say. Like I just came out of my cave, and have no idea that there are such things as electronic books now! To all those people, I’m not from another century. I have been reading “e-books” as they’re called, since my teens!

Of course, back then there were no handheld devices, and to read a book, you had to sit on a chair and scroll through the text on the computer screen. I have been crazy enough to do that. I sat all night in my chair to read Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire on my PC. And that is a huge book if you remember. So, I have nothing against reading electronic versions of books.

Except that I had to go get the hard copy of the book as well, because there are times when I want to read some part of it again, and it was a hassle to look for that particular part in the electronic version. Since this is not a problem any more, with iPads and tablets and Kindle coming pretty close to the size of actual books, difficulty of access is a moot point now.

Still, you have to admit, scrolling down a screen is never going to be the same as flipping the pages of a book. I have a habit of playing with the edge of the page while reading, because I’m impatient and want to turn the page as soon as I read the last word. As a result, every time I read something on my Kindle, I invariably turn the page before finishing the previous one, which leads to a lot of back and forth, and a lot of frustration.

Oh, did I forget to say that I do have a Kindle? I got one last year for my birthday, after a lot of grief from my husband. The poor guy has wanted to get one for me for years now but knowing how crazed I am, he never dared surprise me with something I might not be too crazy about. So, finally, last year I gave in, and got a Kindle Voyage which seemed to be a better option for me.

Unfortunately, I have only managed to read two books on my device in the last 1.5 years! Firstly, because I have a Middle East account on Amazon, and it keeps telling me that the book I want is not available in the Kindle Store, and secondly, because it irritates me to no end that I cannot flip the pages over to see how much of the book is left. Or, if it’s too boring, to cheat and read a bit of the ending to see if it’s worth it to read all of it!

Then, there’s this whole insane thing about smelling the books. Yes, I know. All bookworms do it. At least the ones I know do. Just like some people love the smell of petrol, I love the smell of books and bookstores. Apart from smell, there is the weight of a book. A light as air device can never fill the void of a big heavy book in my hands. I can not put weird and funky bookmarks in a Kindle either. Just another one of my eccentricities.

My dear Kindle, I love you very much (after all you didn’t come for free, did you?), but while you’re like a newer, shinier car, my old car is still the first love of my life. I cannot leave my first love (that’s my books) for the new one, though that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. Love, T.

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