Review: The Woman In The Window

Rating: 3 Stars

The Woman in The Window by A.J. Finn was my most anticipated read this year. I had been trying to get my hands on it for months, but something always went wrong and I ended up not buying it. So, when I did manage to get it finally, I couldn’t wait to read it.

I wouldn’t say that I was disappointed, but I wasn’t blown away by it either. It was a good read, but nothing out of the ordinary in my opinion. The story was predictable with many clichés thrown in, and the setting was reminiscent of almost all domestic thrillers. What set it apart, for me at least, was the main character.

Anna Fox is a complex and well written character, and as I read, I became invested in this complicated, flawed, grieving woman. I think the writer wanted us to think of her as an unreliable narrator. Unfortunately, Anna, or Dr. Fox, as she likes to be addressed, is too strong and believable a character for the reader to doubt. Her struggles with agoraphobia and alcohol, and her separation from her husband and daughter, all seem too real and painful. And this vivid, almost real, character is also the weakness that makes this book lose points in my eyes.

The problem is the rest of the characters in the book. When you see a strong protagonist who makes you interested in what is happening in her life, you also want the other people around her to be as real and interesting. Sadly, none of the others could make any such impact on me. All of them seem like caricatures of the usual run-of-the-mill domestic thriller characters.

There were some things that I managed to work out early on in the book; like the reason Anna is separated from her family, or what part will David inevitably play in her life. The rest of it I guessed around the halfway mark, and it was disappointing to find that I had been right about almost all of it!

I realize that too much hype leads to too many expectations, which are very rarely met, but I have also read many books that have stood up to the challenge of rave reviews and a lot of hype. The Woman in The Window failed to meet my expectations, and apart from the one character, I couldn’t find anything that would make this book stand apart from other run-of-the-mill thrillers.

Sunday Views: Whatever Happened to Good Books For Girls?

Yesterday, my daughter was telling me one of her many stories from school, and she asked me if I had ever seen a boy who was interested in girlish activities. I asked her what do “girlish activities” mean, and she told me that they are things like playing with dolls, doing arts and crafts, making loom bands etc. Mind you, this is an almost 9-year-old who has never played with dolls, and whose elder brother was obsessed with making loom bands at one point in time. Naturally, I was very concerned.

I tried to explain to her that there is no such thing as girlish or boyish activities; everyone should be free to do what they like without fear of judgement, and that she needs to support her friends rather than judge them. After all, she has never been interested in dolls, and likes to play volleyball and tennis.

This conversation got me thinking about things that are influencing children’s minds these days, and how it is impossible to keep them away from these influences. I have tried to stay away from assigning gender specific roles to my children. Everyone is supposed to pitch in, and there are no girls’ chores or boys’ chores. Of course there are times when some things are for boys, and some for girls, but by and large, I have encouraged them to do what they like.

A few years back, when the kids were younger and didn’t have access to iPads and laptops, they were only allowed to watch one TV channel, and that too for only an hour. During that hour, there was one cartoon that always made me irritated and I hated that my kids seemed to love it. There was nothing wrong with the cartoon itself as it was about a six-year-old boy called Eliot Kid, who had wild imagination. What made me see red, was the fact that this boy had two best friends, and the girl best friend was in love with Eliot, while Eliot was in love with the most popular girl in his class, who was blonde and a stereotype if I ever saw one! Now, what in the world made the creators of this cartoon think that it is ok for six-year-olds to moon over the opposite sex, effectively telling children all over the world that it is not possible for a girl and a boy to be just friends even at such a young age?

Then, my daughter grew up a bit and started reading. She is not as prolific a reader as her brothers, but she does like to read. At first, I had trouble getting her interested in books since her brothers were more into mysteries and adventures, while she seemed to prefer something different. I was really happy when she found her type of books in The Naughtiest Girl and Malory Towers book series by Enid Blyton. Her reading preferences were different from the boys, but she was her own individual, and I loved that she was different.

Then came the popular books. Kids in her school were reading The Dork Diaries, and I was letting the boys read Diary of a Wimpy Kid, so why couldn’t she read what her friends were reading. Fair enough. Hence started the invasion of books like Dear Dumb Diary, Dork Diaries, and various Jacqueline Wilson books. I had little choice in the matter, not because my daughter is stubborn, but because there are so few options.

I understand that girls and boys have different tastes, and I don’t want to force any of my kids to read anything they don’t want to, but is it necessary to have such a stark contrast between a “boys” book and a “girls” book? While boys are always off on adventures, playing sports, or being naughty at school, girls are giggling away over makeup and boys. I’m sick and tired of reading about girls who don’t fit in because of what they wear, and who suddenly become acceptable because they start wearing makeup and nice clothes; or girls who like boys and spend a whole book trying to catch their attention; or mean girls who have nothing better to do than torment other girls, and who are always the best dressed with their makeup on point.

The books that are being written for upper elementary and middle school age girls are reminiscent of the books I used to read in my teens. I don’t want my daughter to be conscious of her looks or her dressing. She is too young to be worrying about that. She has to learn that she can be friends with everyone without there being an element of romance and talk of crushes. She needs to be comfortable in her own skin, and with all like-minded people, regardless of their gender.

Thankfully, my daughter is being raised with a brother who is just one year older to her, making him her best friend, and both of them comfortable with each other’s friends. However, as they spend more and more time in school, I cannot help but wonder if things will stay this way for long.

Recently, a friend has recommended a few books that seem to be different from the usual books displayed prominently in every bookstore. I’m trying to get these books and can’t wait for my daughter to read them. Until then, I will keep trying to get her to read the A Wrinkle in Time series, and if I’m very, very lucky, maybe Anne of Green Gables.

Review: Homegoing

Rating: 5 Stars

“Evil begets evil. It grows. It transmutes, so that sometimes you cannot see that the evil in the world began as the evil in your own home.”

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi is the kind of book that leaves its mark on the reader. It spans centuries and generations in only 300 pages. It reminded me so much of Alex Haley’s Roots, in that it takes your heart and shatters it into pieces. Of course, while Roots is like a full length movie, Homegoing is more like snapshots of a family’s journey through the centuries. It reads like fourteen short stories connected together by a familial thread.

I come from a country which used to be a British colony, and our history books are full of how the colonists came and exploited our resources and ruled us for centuries. Every kid knows of their atrocities and injustices. Yet, we can never even imagine the havoc they wreaked on Africa. The echoes of their evil are still heard all over the world, and the Africans are still paying for crimes committed centuries before they were even born.

Homegoing starts off as the story of two sisters, born from the same mother, who never meet in their lifetime, and whose destinies are as as different as night and day. One marries a white man, a slave trader, while the other becomes a slave. One stays in Africa, where her descendents struggle with their identity, while one is taken to America, where her descendents struggle to stay alive. As their stories play out, you are given a glimpse into American history itself.

The prose is beautiful, some lines so profound, that you have to come back and read them again and again.

“The need to call this thing ‘good’ and this thing ‘bad,’ this thing ‘white’ and this thing ‘black,’ was an impulse that Effia did not understand. In her village, everything was everything. Everything bore the weight of everything else.”

As one side of the family is challenged by the changes taking place in Africa, it is the other side, the slaves, who are going through trials that no human being should have to face. Yet, all characters are unique individuals, who fight their own battles and face their own challenges. You are shown many faces of bravery, many forms of resilience, and underneath it all, the strength of charcater and the will to change things for themselves and their children.

Even though the book ends on a hopeful note, it is heartbreaking to realize that things haven’t changed all that much over the centuries. The colour of your skin still makes a difference, and where you come from still matters. This book has left me with a heavy heart and a real sadness about how human race has failed to learn from the past.

I think this book is a must read for everyone.

Sunday Rant: When YA is More “Adult” Than Young!

Everyone who follows me on Instagram and Facebook is aware of the dilemma I had to face last week when my 13-year-old read a book he shouldn’t have read, all because of the misleading classification at the bookstore. As a parent, it was frustrating and disorienting, and definitely not something that I would want to experience again.

During spring break, I happened to be at Mall of Emirates, Dubai, with both my boys, and I thought it would be okay for us to get a couple of books. We had already gotten more than our agreed number of books from Kinokuniya, Dubai Mall, so we agreed to get just one book per person. With this in mind, we went into Borders and started looking around.

Now, Borders is not my favourite bookstore ever since they changed their location in the mall and shifted to a much smaller space. So, I got bored looking around and decided to help the boys. The younger one, as usual, was quick to decide what he wanted, and agreed to wait for his brother to make up his mind. The elder one, being a teenager and all, couldn’t decide what to get. It was taking too long, but to be honest, I can’t blame him. Almost all the books in and around the Young Adult section were love stories of one kind or another. Any thirteen-year-old boy would be confused if let loose in that section of Borders.

As I was looking, I found a book abandoned near the intermediate readers and the Young Adult section. I read the blurb and thought it sounded like a good thriller. I showed it to my son, but he said that he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for him since we had no idea which shelf it was from. I agreed, and we continued searching for that ONE book! As I came to the end of the Young Adult shelf, I saw the book, The Missing by C. L. Taylor, in one of the shelves, and showed it to my son, telling him that it looks like it’s appropriate for your age. He still didn’t want it, and I got tired of looking and went to look at other books.

After about an hour, my son accepted defeat and came out with the same book that I had told him looked ok. We bought it and brought it back home with us. Ten days back, I saw the book in my son’s bookshelf and asked him how it was. he said that he had forgotten all about it, and that he will read it now because he didn’t have any other books to read. A couple of days later, he told me that he had read the book and it was a suspense thriller. I said maybe I should read it too, which is what I say about almost all the books that my kids read. He started hedging a bit when he heard this, and I immediately sensed that there was something he was uncomfortable about. So I asked him if it was a book he shouldn’t have read, and he said that yes, it was. And I should read it myself to know why he shouldn’t have read it.

I had just finished reading a book, so I immediately picked up The Missing to see what had made him so antsy. As I read the book, I was horrified! It was by no definition something that I would want my kid to read even if he was 16! It was about a boy of fifteen, but the things that boy was involved in, were disgusting and vile, and I’m still beating myself for making my son read it. I have had people telling me that I was an ignorant mother, and that I should have read the book before giving it to my son. I don’t really listen to such people.

The truth is that I have three kids, all voracious readers, and they buy books by the dozen. It is not possible to read all the books, and I don’t want to stop them from reading just because I don’t have time to read each and every book that they get. I generally rely on what other kids are reading, and then the classification in the bookstore. I have had reservations about a couple of books, but that is more because I want them to be reading diverse books rather than the same thing again and again. The only complaint I have had till now is that the books meant for girls are too stereotypical.

By definition, the Young Adult genre includes books meant for readers aged 12 to 18. I understand that it is a very wide range, since the reading interests of a 12-year-old are in no way similar to that of an 18-year-old. But generally, you can tell the difference between books meant for younger readers and those for a little bit older audience.

My son reads at a higher level of the reading scale, so he is allowed to get books appropriate for a 16-17 year old. It is not my personal opinion, but that of his teachers and various reading tests. Still, he himself is a very choosy reader and does not read just anything. I had to make him read the Divergent series by force for his class reading assignment.

I’m still at a loss to understand the criteria of classifying books in this category. There have been instances where I have read a Young Adult book and not given it to my son to read because of something or other. Still, I have never questioned the classification. If a book is about high school students, it is bound to have something objectionable for a middle school student. There are elements like sex or foul language that I might not want him to read ideally, but yes, I wouldn’t stop him from reading it in a couple of years.

This particular book is completely an adult book. There is no question of it being for anyone other than a college student maybe. The fact that it is about a 15-year-old boy does not make it Young Adult, and I wish bookstores would understand that. I don’t know how they decide where to put the books, but customers like me have to put our trust in these classifications, otherwise we will go crazy trying to vet every book for our kids.

Maybe, the book wouldn’t have had that much of an impact on me if my son hadn’t read it before me. Then again, being a mother, reading about a delinquent 15-year-old would have had some impact on me for sure. I’m still filled with guilt every time I think about it, and have no idea how to proceed from here. Should I now start reading each and every book, or stop getting books altogether? Both options are unimaginable, yet I have lost faith in the so-called classification of genres. I just hope I can find a solution that is practical enough, and acceptable to all!

Sunday Boredom: Getting Children to Read

Recently, I have come across many posts on social media lamenting the decline in reading in the younger generation. There is a lot of finger-pointing and blaming, and in the end it all falls in the lap of technology and gadgets. It is widely accepted that technology is the reason our children are averse to reading books, preferring to play games on their gadgets to picking up books. I disagree.

I have three living, breathing examples at home, who negate the fact that children don’t read because they are too busy playing on their gadgets. My children are obsessed with their iPads. Believe me, I’m using the term “obsessed” very lightly here. They are deaf and blind when they are playing Minecraft or Roblox, or whatever it is that has their attention at that point in time. I have to scream and shout to be heard, and there are many skirmishes during the day that drive me to the brink of insanity. I try to be strict with their screen time, but with long school hours, and little to do outside in the heat, they manage to get more screen time than they should.

You would think that anyone who is that involved with their games will hardly have time for anything else. Wrong. All three of them have their own bookshelves, almost falling down from the weight of their books, and yet they want to buy more books. Old-fashioned, printed-on-paper books. They are as obsessed with books as they are with their iPads. So, I for one, can never say that technology is responsible for the decline in reading books.

A few days back, a chance comment by someone made me think about what it was that made me and my brothers such voracious readers, while my cousins, who lived in the same house and had the same life experiences as us, could never be the readers that we were. The answer in our case was, our parents and our teachers. No one forced us to read, we just followed the examples of those closest to us.

A misconception about reading is that it needs to be nurtured from an early age, and if your child is not a reader early on, he/she can never become a reader. Age has nothing to do with taking up reading. I have seen teenagers become interested in books even when they have never read one out of school. All it takes is an interested adult, teacher or parent, who can offer them options and open a world for them that appeals to them as individuals.

Someone told me about an incident where a student was reading some book, and the teacher snatched it out of their hands because she considered it age inappropriate. I don’t know why, but hearing about it had a strange effect on me. I’m a big believer in giving children reading material according to their age. What got to me in this incident was the snatching away of the book. You take away one book, they will find another, maybe one even more inappropriate. You make them understand how they have better options, they will probably remember you all their lives.

In my life, I have come across two types of teachers. Those who take the whole class with them on the same journey, keeping them together and making them work towards a set standard. Then there are those who think that every individual has different capabilities, and not everyone can achieve the same standard. I have seen successes in both types of classrooms, but since we’re specifically talking about reading, I believe that it has more chances of being nurtured in the second type of environment.

Every child has different interests and different levels of reading. Making them read something above their level of understanding because others are doing it, creates in them a natural dislike towards books and reading. They need to take their own time learning to read, and they need to read about things that are interesting to them as individuals. Similarly, someone who is above the reading level of other students, will get bored with text that is too easy for them. They need the excitement and thrill that comes with challenging texts.

When I look back to my schooldays, there are three teachers who stand out, who I believe were different from all other teachers. One was my English teacher in grade 6, who encouraged us to set up a small library in our class with our own books, so we had an additional source of books, other than the school library. The second was our school librarian, who was an anomaly in a Pakistani school, being British and all. She got books for our library that other schools hadn’t even heard of. It was thanks to her that we had the full series of Anne of Green Gables in our library, which to this day is one of my most favourite series. The third teacher who left a lasting impression on me, wasn’t a librarian, nor did she ever teach me in a single class. She was the English teacher of the O’Levels classes, and I encountered her in the library mostly. She became the one who recommended books to me, never telling me that I was too young for a particular book. She is the one most responsible for my interest in books other than what the girls in my class were reading. To her, I remain forever grateful.

These days, I’m in a dilemma. I have always known that my children read much above their age levels, and have always encouraged them to do so. Now, however, my thirteen-year-old is reading at a high school level, and I find myself reluctant to allow him to read much of the Young Adult books being written nowadays. While it is gratifying to know that he can read books from my shelf, I don’t want him to grow up before his time.

And this is nothing compared to what the ten-year-old is up to! He has this thing about reading what his brother is reading, and has managed to con me into letting him read Agatha Christie! Actually, I’m having fun seeing him struggling with old English and settings that he can have no clue about. Seeing him read makes me feel proud and horrified at the same time.

As for the youngest, my nine-year-old daughter, she is content with her girly books, which are again, much advanced than what her friends are reading, but as she shows no interest in my books, I can breathe easy for a couple of more years, hopefully. But even she has not given me complete freedom. When I see the books being written for girls her age, I want to burn all these books! What is wrong with these books? Oh, let me count the ways! But I guess that would be a rant best left for another day!

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