Tag: parents

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Review: Salt And Saffron

Rating: 3.5 Stars

Salt And Saffron by Kamila Shamsie is a light-hearted book about family history, class divisions, prejudices and familial love. Shamsie has created a fictional aristocratic family, proud of its roots that go back many centuries. She has used this family as an example of the elitism and caste system deeply embedded in our culture in the guise of family values and pride.

The very name of the family, the Dard-e-Dils (the Heartaches), is so unreal that you know what will follow can only be satirical and tongue-in-cheek. This family, the Dard-e-Dils, is proud of its heritage and they love to tell stories, mainly about their ancestors. Most of these stories are about the “not-quite” twins. These “not-quite” twins have been born quite frequently through history, and have always brought about the downfall of this family.

Aliya is the main protagonist, going back from the US to her family in Karachi, by way of London. She last talked to her Dadi (paternal grandmother) 4 years ago when they had a massive falling out. After avoiding her for 4 years, Aliya thinks that it’s time to heal the breach. But first, she makes a stop in London to see her older cousin with whom she is very close. And it is there that her own story seems to take an unexpected turn. She not only finds herself attracted to a boy who might be unacceptable to her family, but also meets the Indian side of her family.

The Indian and Pakistani sides of the Dard-e-Dils refuse to acknowledge each other, and still carry old wounds from the time of the partition. Aliya learns something about herself during her meeting with her Indian relatives. This makes it even more imperative for her to go back home and figure out what she wants from life.

Essentially a love story, Salt And Saffron also takes a look at the deeper consequences of the Indo-Pak partition; the deeply ingrained prejudices that are passed down through generations in the form of class and caste. How family history is written through stories that become legends as time passes.

Kamila Shamsie is an excellent writer and it is hard to find fault in her writing. She takes very real elements from her surroundings and turns them into a riveting story. The only problem is that since this book is written from the perspective of a particular class, it might be difficult to relate to for people who do not belong to that class. However, this does not stop me from appreciating her craft and her command of words. She is definitely a master storyteller.

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Review: The Family Tree

Rating: 4.5 Stars

First and foremost, I want to thank Sairish Hussain for writing The Family Tree. It was so refreshing to read about people that I could relate to; people like me, my friends, and my family. There have been very few books about people of Pakistani origin that portray them as normal, everyday humans, with average families and average lives, without the specter of religion haunting the whole story, sometimes even overshadowing it!

The story spans a period of some 24 years, from 1993 to 2017, and is the tale of a family living in Yorkshire. The mother dies in childbirth and leaves behind a new-born girl and a ten year old boy. This situation is bewildering and upsetting for the poor father. He fights his way through depression and brings up his children to the best of his ability. There is nothing stereotypical about this man, or any other man in this book. These characters are all as real as any living person.

Amjad is a British-born man. His parents migrated to Britain from Pakistan before his birth. He works at a warehouse and lives in a modest house, but dreams of giving his children a better life. Dreaming the same dream with him is Harun, Amjad’s best friend. Amjad’s son Saahil and Harun’s son Ehsan are also inseparable and do everything together. When his wife Neelam dies while giving birth to their daughter Zarah, it shatters Amjad. He is determined to do his best by his children and give them everything that he is capable of providing.

With Harun and his wife’s support, and with Saahil helping him along, Amjad manages to give his kids a loving home, not remarrying despite his Ammi’s constant nagging. Things start looking up when Zahra turns ten, and Saahil and Ehsan are all set to graduate from engineering university. And then everything changes in just one night. The lives of all these people change after an act of senseless violence, and Amjad finds himself left alone to raise Zahra with only the aid of his ageing Ammi.

The three main characters are also the narrators of the story. There is a background of cultural and religious identities clashing with the politics of the times. The characters are so well fleshed out that it is easy to picture them all as if they were right in front of you.

While there are many instances where I might have shed a tear or two, this book is not heavy on the heart; you never feel hopeless. Every character is determined in their own way, trying to navigate life like everyone does in the real world. They have their strengths and weaknesses; their highs and lows; yet they remain hopeful. This sense of hope is why The Family Tree stands apart from other similar books.

All through the book we encounter things like racism, religious identity, inter racial friendships, sexism, and other relevant issues. Yet, not once do these issues take over the narrative and draw you away from the real story. It is like all these things are a part of life, not anyone’s whole life. And this is what makes this book amazing in my eyes.

Amjad is representative of all those fathers who live their lives for their children. His love for his family shines in his character above everything else. My heart ached so much for this man who has to raise 2 kids on his own, and yet does the best that he can to give them a better future. There are so many fathers like him in this world, who are willing to sacrifice everything for their children, and who work tirelessly towards this end.

Saahil is one of those young men whose dreams are cut short by tragic circumstances. He is forced to grow up much before his time. His actions and their consequences are so real and believable that you can’t help but feel sad for this boy. He thinks and reacts like a normal teenager and while his actions are questionable, he thankfully doesn’t succumb to the too-common fate of becoming radicalized!

Then there is Zahra.

…everyone is too busy telling us who we are. It’s time we spoke for ourselves.

My favourite character by far has to be Zahra. She is intelligent, smart, beautiful, and knows what she wants. Her identity does not confuse her, nor is she apologetic about her heritage. Zahra is a British Muslim with Pakistani roots, and the world has to accept her for who she is. It was sheer pleasure to encounter such a strong female character who doesn’t have to resort to props like a shalwar kameez or a hijab to make her a Muslim, nor does she need validation from the males around her to make her a good Pakistani girl. These are the kind of girls that I want to read about.

I would also like to add that I really love the cover of The Family Tree. It is beautiful, and so in sync with the book. Neelam’s shawl plays a major role in the story. It is the thread that binds this family together. If there is one thing that can represent this family, it is this piece of cloth. It truly does connect all three people in this family.

The Family Tree is one book that I would recommend everyone to read, whether you are a South Asian or not. I promise you will not regret it!

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Family In The Time Of Pandemic

If the last few months have taught me anything, it’s the importance of family in my life. I have been worried about aunts, uncles and cousins; trying to keep in touch with them as much as I can. It is not easy since my family is spread all over the world. They live in all kinds of crazy time zones, but social media makes it possible. I will forever be grateful to modern technology for this.

I have a large family. My father had five siblings, while my mother has six. It might seem strange in this day and age, but the love among the siblings also transferred into their offspring. So, having cousins living far away in other countries didn’t stop us from loving each other, even when there was no internet or cell phones. To others it still seems like a strange dynamic, but this has always been our normal.

During this lock down, I have had the opportunity to re-connect with the elders who I have looked up to all my life. I have worried about them, scolded them, cried with them and listened to them while they scolded me. It has been the closest that I have ever felt to them; all while sitting in our homes in different countries and sometimes even continents.

As for my cousins, it is sometimes difficult to make people understand that my cousins are my oldest friends. I was friends with them before I knew what friendship was. We have navigated our lives together, giving each other support and encouragement. Even though blood bonds us, our ties are so much more than just that. And that goes for all of them, no matter how much older or younger they are, they’re still my go-to for problem solving, brain storming and even hand holding.

I once read a book called We Were Liars, and it was easy to relate to the relationships in that book. I too have cousins with whom I used to spend days getting in trouble with. And, honestly, there are some of us who are entirely capable of killing each other too! As our world comes closer to opening up, I just wanted to write down how these last few months have made me thankful for all the people who I have always taken for granted. My constants. My family.

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Review: Someone We Know

Rating: 4 Stars

Shari Lapena is an author I can always rely on to deliver the goods. Her book, The Couple Next Door, is one that I recommend to anyone who wants to read thrillers. While her other books are not as highly recommended, Someone We Know comes quite close. The twists and turns leave the reader breathless, and the ending makes them gasp. Just the way it always does with good thrillers.

The story starts with a teenager who has been breaking and entering into several homes in his suburban neighborhood in upstate New York. His intention is not of stealing or causing harm. All he wants is to hack a few computers and boast about it to one of his friends. However, things start to go downhill once his parents find out what he has been up to.

At the same time, a woman down his street is murdered quite gruesomely. The ensuing investigation is causing all sorts of problems in the neighborhood. When a couple of homeowners receive anonymous letters telling them that their houses have been broken into, the whole neighborhood becomes a hotbed of intrigue and secrets. Now the police is having trouble trying to separate facts from lies and omissions.

Lapena weaves a complicated web of truths, half-truths and outright lies, that make it difficult to guess who is guilty of what. It seems that in this neighborhood, no one is innocent.

I will also admit that having a teenager and a tween myself, I couldn’t help but empathize with Olivia Sharpe. There really is no manual on how to raise kids. Once they enter their teens, you can only hope that what you have given them is enough for them to come out unscathed on the other side.

I can also sympathize with Raleigh. It’s not easy to walk the boring path when everyone around you is having fun falling off it. Peer pressure has made kids do worse in real life. Also, you have to give the poor kid some leeway. After all, he has to live with that name all his life!

Overall, Someone We Know is a good thriller that made me glad I took out the time to read it.

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Review: The Travelling Cat Chronicles

Rating: 4.5 Stars

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa is not the type of book that I read generally. I don’t know why I bought it, but I’m so glad I did, and that I made myself read it. The story of Nana and Satoru captures the beauty of Japan, and reaffirms your belief in selfless love, be it family, friends or man and animal.

Nana is a stray cat found and adopted by Satoru, and after five years living together, they’re now on a journey across Japan. Nana has no idea why they’re on this trip, or what is going on in Satoru’s mind, but he is content to be with his beloved human and travel the world with him.

As Nana and Satoru visit three of Satoru’s oldest friends, we gradually see the picture of Satoru’s life, and how it has been shaped by the people he has met along the way. In the midst of all this, we are also shown a picture of how beautiful and diverse Japan is. From big cities like Tokyo, to amazing places like Mount Fuji and Hokkaido, we see a Japan that is impossible to forget. As is the story of Nana and Satoru.

Even though you think you’re ready to read about what will eventually happen, it is still nearly impossible to stop your tears from flowing. I had thought this was a book for cat lovers, not people like me who have never owned a pet. Turns out, it is a story for everyone who has ever loved anyone. It is a story of love, friendship, companionship, family, and above all thankfulness.

A beautiful, beautiful book for everyone.

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Review: Hijabistan

Rating: 4 Stars

Hijabistan by Sabyn Javeri is a collection of short stories about women, with a common thread of hijab running through all the stories. As a rule, I’m not one for short stories. They always leave me feeling like I missed the point. These short stories just sucked me in and left their mark. It is entirely possible that I might be biased towards this collection.

These stories speak to me personally because I have been through the struggle myself. This push and pull of wearing the hijab or taking it off has been a part of my life for most of last 15 years. Of course, it has never been as hard as it is for most of the protagonists in these stories, but I feel an affinity with most of them. There is no judgement about the garment itself here, just the people who use it as a weapon and those who let their views be coloured by it.

I liked almost all the stories in this collection, even those that might seem far-fetched to people who have no clue about how close to the truth they are. I will not talk about all the stories here, just my most favourite ones.

The Full Stop is about a young girl who gets her first period. It reads like a true story because it is the truth of millions of girls who are taught that menstruation is something to hide, something evil and disgusting. Girls are told that it is something to be ashamed of when they should be told that it is natural and something ordained by nature.

Only in London shows us a girl stuck between two cultures, not knowing which one to call hers. It is the dilemma faced by all immigrants, no matter where they come from. It is not easy to give up your old values and suddenly pick up new ones. When a person migrates to a new place, they inevitably become a mixture of the two, their country of origin, and their country of migration.

The Good Wife has to be my favourite story out of all. It is also the saddest. It tells us of a woman who covers herself because she wants to, who is not afraid of what others think of her, whose faith in her Creator is strong even if her husband’s is not. At the same time this woman loves her husband with everything in her and is not afraid to show her love as well. I was crying for that woman by the end of the story, and trying to make sense of our senseless world at the same time.

The last story, Coach Annie, is the sweetest and most upbeat story of the collection. I loved reading about Annie who has to wear the hijab at a tender age, yet she makes it her own, even when she is surrounded by men double her size. Annie makes me believe that women can do anything they put their minds to, regardless of how they choose to dress.

A great book about women and hijab that needs to be read with an open mind and a big heart.

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Review: The Death of Mrs. Westaway

Rating: 3.5 Stars

I realize that I’m a bit late to this party, but despite having bought this book back in July 2018, I only just got around to reading it. At first, it was the size that seemed too much to me, and then it was the fact that I wasn’t too impressed with Ruth Ware’s The Lying Game and didn’t want to be disappointed again.

The Death of Mrs. Westaway is more like Ware’s The Woman in Cabin 10, though. It is interesting, if predictable, and just fun to read. I mean fun for those who like light mysteries and thrillers.

Harriet “Hal” Westaway is a young Tarot card reader in Brighton, who has gotten into trouble with a loan shark. She is all alone in the world after her mother’s tragic death three years ago. When she gets a letter saying that she her grandmother has left her a bequest, Harriet knows that it’s not true. Her grandparents died more than 20 years ago, and she has no other living relatives that she knows of.

As the loan shark becomes more persistent, Hal decides to pretend to be the real Harriet Westaway, in order to get her hands on the bequest. It is only when she gets to the Cornish estate, that she realizes the pitfalls of the web that she is weaving. There seems to be someone who doesn’t want her around, and is willing to do anything to get rid of her.

Ruth Ware is not too much into suspense and thrills. I have understood that from her previous books. I was able to predict everything almost down to the last detail quite early on in the book. Nevertheless, it is quite gratifying to find that you were right about what will happen all along.

Harriet is a likable character, as are almost all other characters in the book. For once, we see a family who with all their differences possess enough love to want to welcome a long lost relative into their midst. It is a nice change to read about good coming out of the most adverse circumstances, of love and acceptance growing from a childhood of hate and neglect.

I enjoyed reading this book, even though it is too tame and predictable to be a thriller.

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Review: Pieces of Her

Rating: 3 StarsPieces of Her by Karin Slaughter is about how an act of terror in a local mall changes the life of Andrea Oliver. Andy is 31 years old, and lives at home with her mother, having moved back from New York a few years back after her mother’s health problems.Andy’s life is boring and monotonous. She’s aimless and has no real ambition in life except to live from one day to the other, and that too in the most mundane way possible. She’s ashamed of the time she spent in New York, and is unwilling to tell anyone about her dreadful existence there.While Andy is celebrating her birthday with her mom, a gunman enters the cafe and proceeds to open fire. When Andy’s mother disarms the gunman, and manages to kill him, she is all over the news, especially as someone has managed to make a video of the whole incident. It takes Andy a few hours to realize that her mother might not be what she seems, and that Andy needs to act timely for once to save her mother and herself.Karin Slaughter spins a great story with enough twists and mysteries to keep the reader engaged. Unfortunately, her heroine is unbearable. When a woman of 31 acts like a 16-year-old, I find myself wanting to shake her really hard. At first, I thought she must be like this because of some trauma in her past, but that turned out to be a false hope. And when the same woman of 31 suddenly finds her spine and starts facing killers and being on the run on her own, I thought that I must be reading about someone else!Since the narrative goes back and forth in time, it is even more frustrating to read about another woman unable to make her own decisions and behaving in a similar manner. I couldn’t help but think that for someone who has gone through so much in life, she would at least raise a daughter who is strong and faces life head on.I’m not against having weak women characters in a story, or showing how a woman can overcome odds under adverse circumstances, I just want it to be believable. Slaughter’s Charlie and Samantha Quinn from The Good Daughter were a couple of badass women, who were believable with all their issues and baggage. Here, I was just left wishing for a couple of more engaging female protagonists.I also have a problem with the male characters in the book. Andy’s stepfather, who we come to know is the most important man in Andy’s life, vanishes from her life after Andy runs away. All the other male characters are also there to fill some gaps and then disappear into thin air. Overall, I couldn’t get myself to get behind any of the characters in this book, which is a shame because I really like Karin Slaughter as an author and want to read her other books too.

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Review: The Rumour

Rating: 3 Stars

The Rumour by Lesley Kara is a domestic thriller that looks into the how rumours spread, and how they can lead to unexpected outcomes.

The story follows Joanna, an almost-single mother, who has moved to Flinstead-on-Sea, a small, sleepy town, from London in order to be close to her own mom. Jonanna’s son is having difficulties settling into the new school, and Joanna is clueless about how to help him. Then one day she hears a strange rumour that she cannot get out of her mind. She doesn’t do it intentionally, but a careless remark from her starts a chain of rumours that cannot be broken. Now everyone is talking about how a child killer might be living in their town under a different identity.

Ten-year-old Sally McGowan stabbed and killed four-year-old Robbie Harris almost 50 years ago. When she got out of the correctional facility, she was given a new identity and the press was banned from ever reporting about her. The Harris family, however, have never gotten over the tragic death of Robbie and feel that they were given the short end of the stick. No photos exist of Sally from the time she came out from rehabilitation, and no one seems to know where she is.

As rumours fly, Joanna becomes suspicious of everyone, especially when she starts to fear for the safety of her son. There might be some truth to the rumours, and someone is aware that Joanna is to blame for them. The child killer is suddenly closer and more dangerous than she realized.

The book is just about average as far as thrillers go. The story has some merit but it seems to meander here and there. I started to lose interest in the middle, and it was hard to come back to the story. Joanna comes across as neurotic and high strung without reason. The common habit of going off alone to shady places, like all Hollywood heroines, is also present in Joanna. Who goes off alone into all these places if they know that they are already being threatened?

There are too many suspicious characters in an attempt to make everything more entertaining, but it becomes a struggle to make sense out of all their stories. There are some too-good-to-be-true coincidences, like Liz not knowing who Michael was, and Joanna seeing Kay’s mail, which just seem a bit irritating.

Overall, an average book that is good for reading on the beach and not putting too much thought into it.

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Sunday Venting: Are The Kids Alright?

When my children were little, everyone kept telling me how I was lucky to have had them close together. That way, they said, they will grow up together and you will be free to enjoy your own life. As my children grow older, I have started having serious doubts about this statement. They will probably drive me insane long before they’re old enough to take care of themselves!

I know how almost everything is blamed on the electronic devices and the screen time that kids get these days, and I have always been unable to manage screen time, but for my kids there might be another reason. Over the last few months, I cannot help but feel if it is the books causing all these problems? The books that my kids read currently are nothing like the books that we used to read.

I understand that things tend to change over time, and what was deemed taboo in our times is up for general discussion everywhere now. However, the overall language, stories and setup of most of the newer books leaves me feeling a bit disgruntled. Maybe it’s age catching up on me, but it has become commonplace to use slang and derogatory words in children’s books. The humour is crude and the characters as far from exemplary as possible.

There is also a clear difference between girls’ books and boys’ books. When I was in school, books were books. They were for everyone. Yes, there were some girlish books, like Anne of Green Gables or Nancy Drew, and some books that were more interesting for boys, like Hardy Boys, but overall they had the same feel. Books like Sweet Dreams or Sweet Valley High, while popular with girls, were not the kind of books we generally found in our school library. So it was mostly through second-hand shops and borrowing from other girls that you could get your hands on such books.

Today, children have a much wider variety of books to choose from, yet to me, they all look and sound the same. Girls’ books are all about chasing boys, dressing up, or hanging out with the “in” crowd. It has become very hard to filter books and even harder to stop girls from being influenced by them. Things are not much better for boys. All fictional boys are either full of toilet humour, engaging in very crass behaviour, or chasing aliens. Some even take out the time to moon over girls!

Of course, all this is a part of life and our children should read about these things, but these are not the only things that matter. Sometimes I find it hard to believe how accepting we have become of bad behaviour in our children. All the shows that my kids watch on TV (and they are only allowed to watch Disney) are about children who have the worst manners and who behave like delinquents in school! They treat their teachers like trash, and their parents don’t seem to fare any better. Similarly, in bookshops, I can find shelves upon shelves of children’s books with protagonists who are a parent’s worst nightmare.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to change things. I can limit the screen time, but cannot ban it altogether, and I can screen the books, but not when I don’t have other options. Things like the home environment matter, as does the relationship between parent and child, but the reality is that your child is spending most of the day with other kids who are being influenced by all this. It has become quite a struggle to keep a balance and not become complete villains in our children’s lives. The uphill battle continues.

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