Tag: parents

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Review: A Firefly In The Dark

Rating: 3 Stars

I’m suitably spooked. The book cover tricrked me into thinking this was a children’s book, if not funny, then surely a bit sad and melancholy. The name of the writer tricked me into thinking that this would be a lighthearted affair, suitable for reading before going to bed. I was so off the mark that I’m convinced I need to read more reviews before I buy a book!

A Firefly in The Dark by Shazaf Fatima Haider is a book that brings to life all the horror stories that we ever listened to, be it the ones told by our grandmothers or the ones by older siblings/ cousins who wanted to watch us squirm, or by that crazy school friend who was not quite right in the head! This is not the horror of Hollywood movies or other English books that you have read. This is the horror of your childhood, when you were afraid to go out of the house in the afternoon because you might meet the woman with turned feet, or you hid in your blanket at night because there was something that was always scratching on your window. So, yeah, after reading this, there go my dreams of giving it to my daughter to read. She will probably make my life miserable by refusing to sleep alone.

Sharmeen is an almost-thirteen year old, who comes to live with her maternal grandmother after her life is turned upside down by a sad accident. She is unhappy with this new life where she feels like an outsider both at home and in school. The one spot of light in her bleak existence is the unbelievable stories that her grandmother tells her. These dark and twisted tales are the bone of contention between Sharmeen’s mother and grandmother, making the house a battleground.

As Sharmeen begins to realize that these stories are not really stories but have a basis in truth, tragedy strikes again and she has to come face to face with these forces of evil. However, she is not alone, as she meets her own personal jinn, Jugnu, so named because of his first appearance as a firefly. It’s a race against time as Jugnu and Sharmeen struggle to fight and destroy this evil before it destroys her whole family.

It was seriously good writing with a bit of humor and lots of darkness, but sadly, it also clashed with my faith and beliefs. It was hard to overcome my prejudices because all the stories and characters were so close to home. When you read mythological stories from other regions and countries, it’s easier to dismiss them as fiction and move on, but when faced with stories from your childhood that might have some basis in truth, the mind refuses to accept things that challenge personal belief.

So, yes, it has been quite an experience reading this book. I can’t wait for other books by this author because she is definitely one of the few local authors who I think are genuinely gifted writers.

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Sunday Problems: The Boy And His Books

I have a teenager. He is an enigma. Just like all teenagers are to their parents. He is a lot like I was at his age, and he makes me appreciate my mom every day for putting up with me all those years ago. Like me, he needs to read just one more page of his current read, and like me, he is willing to forget everything else when he is in some other fantasy world. This makes for some interesting clashes between us.

Is there a name for the feeling when you’re in the middle of a rant about how schoolwork should come before anything else, and realize that you yourself were once in the exact same situation that your son now finds himself in? How do you keep your face straight? Do you leave the argument mid-rant? Or do you finish it off, all the while feeling like the worst hypocrite? Because if you’re honest with yourself, you still do the same thing when you stay awake all night to finish a book even when you know you have to get up early the next morning, and go to a very important parent-teacher meeting!

My love for reading was passed on to me by both my parents. Ever since I can remember, I have had some kind of books in my hands. It’s like a madness in all of us, and I seem to have passed it on to my kids. The eldest one has it really bad. He even has the same obsessive notions about books that I do. Like having the same editions for a single series, or thinking it the end of the world if, God forbid, a book cover gets a crease from somewhere, or needing to have a copy of his own even if he can borrow it from someone.

I have a box set of The Lord of The Rings paperbacks that I really love. When he asked to read the series, I let him borrow it. I thought he was quite young for it, and sure enough, he got bored and couldn’t finish it. However, not only was he able to finish The Hobbit, he also enjoyed reading it. Ever since then, somehow he got into his head that he needs to have a copy of The Lord of The Rings in one binding. He kept asking me, I kept telling him no because we already have a set at home.

One day, he found a very nice paperback with the whole series in one binding, and got so fascinated with it that I just had to buy it for him. The book is so thick that it can be used as a foundation stone in the construction of the Two Towers! Just picking it up requires serious muscle. But the boy is happy. He has been reading it religiously, hasn’t even looked at any new books while he is attempting to finish this one.

At first I was surprised at his sudden interest in reading something he had failed at before. Then I realized that this interest was born after watching the LOTR movies. I have never liked movies based on books; I hadn’t even watched the Harry Potter movies until last year. But this in my eyes is the true success of The Lord of The Rings movies… making my son motivated to actually compare the books and the movies.

So now, I sit and wait for him to finish with the tome, so that we can give some attention to the science project due in a few weeks. Today, he finally told me that he is now reading The Return of The King, and I couldn’t help but give a sigh of relief. Now maybe I can get back to some important things myself, like getting a start on that Good Reads challenge that I took up the other day!

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Review: Crooked House

Rating: 4 Stars

There was a crooked man and he went a crooked mile.

He found a crooked sixpence beside a crooked stile.

He had a crooked cat which caught a crooked mouse,

And they all lived together in a little crooked house.

Agatha Christie herself admitted to being partial to Crooked House and called it one of her favourite books. When you read this book, it is evident that the writer had as much fun writing it as the reader has reading it. I have always enjoyed Agatha Christie’s style of old-fashioned romance with more emphasis on the actual story and less on holding hands and calling each other “darling”! This one is right up there with The Man in The Brown Suit in my list of favourite Christies.

Charles Hayward is in love with Sophia Leonides and intends to marry her as soon as circumstances permit. However, when he returns to England, he discovers that Sophia’s much beloved grandfather has passed away. The police suspect foul play, and every clue points to the dead man’s second wife who is fifty years younger than him. When Sophia decides that she cannot get married until the case is solved and the murderer punished, it falls to Charles to find out the truth.

The Leonides household is full of people who hold grudges against each other, as well as the victim, Aristide Leonides. The nature of the crime is such that anyone could have had the opportunity to do it without the others being any wiser. It is in everyone’s interest to let the young second wife take the blame, yet none of them actually believe it to be the truth.

With everyone trying to hide something, and newer, more incriminating facts coming to light every day, Charles finds himself willing to go along with the solution that makes the most sense. The way this book was going, I started to feel really bad for poor Charles. The unexpected turns that come out of nowhere in true Agatha Christie fashion, seem quite misleading, yet lead to a finale few would predict correctly.

The end is not really my favourite, but it makes a strange kind of sense and confirms my belief that Agatha Christie was a romantic at heart.

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Review: Born A Crime

Rating: 4.5 stars

I was very sceptical back when The Today Show replaced Jon Stewart with Trevor Noah, a comedian from South Africa, who very few had even heard of. He’s still nowhere near Jon Stewart, but over time I have come to appreciate Trevor Noah for his own unique brand of humor and wit.

For the past few years, I have not been a short story person, even less, a biography person. So a biography written in the form of short stories was something I had to think really about reading. As it happened, once I started, I flew through the pages. The memoir turned out to be a lesson in South African history that is hard to find in any history books.

“In America you had the forced removal of the native onto reservations coupled with slavery followed by segregation. Imagine all three of those things happening to the same group of people at the same time. That was apartheid.”

Born to a white father and a black mother, Trevor was illegal even before he was born. Forced to hide from public sight for the first few years of his life, he grew up alienated from other kids, hardly ever making any friends. That he chose to look back upon his life with humour and not bitterness, just shows how successful his mother was in bringing up a well-balanced human being under such adverse circumstances.

All through the book, the one thing that comes across loud and clear is Trevor’s love for his mother, and his acknowledgement of the sacrifices she made not only to have him, but to keep him as well. It is the story of a mother and a son, and their struggle to overcome all difficulties.

Despite all this, the book is not gloomy or depressing. It is in turns, funny, poignant, and heartbreaking, but not bleak. It makes you think, and it gives insight into the lives of a nation that is thought to be doing alright since the dark period of the apartheid ended. What everyone closes their eyes to, is the destruction apartheid left in its wake.

“People love to say, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” What they don’t say is, ” And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod.”

It boggles the mind how a handful of people, outnumbered by the natives five to one, managed to rule over the country, simply by dividing them and making them fight each other. This is the history that I want to know about. There is a lot in this book that resonates with me as a Pakistani too. After all, we may not have had it as bad as South Africa, but our country is also a product of colonial rule. Oh, and our parents also believed in not sparing the rod!

There’s a very funny story about Trevor’s friend Hitler, and it’s also a lesson in perspective. My son read the blurb and asked about it, and as I told him, I realized how valuable a lesson it is for him to learn! The book is full of such instances where you stop and think . About racism, about division, about language barriers, and about opportunities.

What I really want to do now, is to get an audio book, because I have a feeling it will be better in Trevor’s own voice.

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Review: Need To Know

Rating: 3.75 Stars

This book really took me by surprise! I don’t know why I bought it, maybe because there wasn’t much choice at the time, but I’m so glad that I did. This is one book that all fans of suspense, thrills and espionage should read. That it is written by a former CIA analyst, is a big bonus.

I have always been a big fan of Alias and 24, Sidney Bristow being my ideal woman since I was a teenager. Need To Know has a similar vibe of intrigue and suspense, with lots of twists thrown in for good measure. Most of the time you don’t know what to believe and what to suspect.

Here, I have to say that I found the character of Vivian a bit naive and gullible, but that’s how most normal people are. I might be suspicious of the characters in a book, but I’m sure given such a situation, I will probably react in the same way. It’s just not a good feeling to see a woman go through all this on paper, even if we will all do whatever we can to save our family too.

Writing a long review might lead to spoilers, and that is something that I don’t want to do at all. The things I loved about this book is the fast pace (I finished it in half a day!) and the constant feeling of being on the edge of your seat. However, there were some things I didn’t like at all.

I felt that in making the story so interesting, the author forgot to make the characters interesting too. Somehow the characters didn’t feel very real. It was as if they were all going through the motions but their heart really wasn’t in it. I found it hard to sympathize with Vivian even while my heart was pounding at what she was about to do! Similarly, the negative character did not frighten me, even though their actions made me sick and frightened.

Another problem was that I wasn’t surprised by the twist at the end at all. It was a good one though, but I had worked it out for myself. Maybe I just have a suspicious nature when it comes to books!

I can see this book turned into a movie or a TV series, it’s got all the potential. I wouldn’t even be surprised if there is a sequel to that movie, given the last twist. A thrilling, fun read for me.

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Review: Stardust

Rating: 4 Stars

Stardust by Neil Gaiman follows Tristran Thorn as he sets off on a quest to find a fallen star; and not just a random fallen star, but the one that his beloved Victoria Forester saw falling!

Tristran Thorn, born under strange circumstances, and brought up in the very boring and sleepy English town of Wall, has been in love with Victoria Forester ever since he can remember. Now seventeen, he wants to marry her and make all his dreams come true. Miss Forester, however, is not of the same mind. While out walking with Tristran one night, she sees a falling star, and since Tristran is making foolish promises at the time, she asks him to get her that particular star if he really wants to marry her.

And so it happens that Tristran sets out to locate this star and ventures to the other side of the wall that borders his town. Everyone knows that what lies on the other side is enchanted and magical, hence the need for the wall and the guards protecting the opening in the wall.

As an ardent Neil Gaiman fan, it is superfluous to say that I loved this book. I’m not a fan of fantasy, yet when Gaiman paints his worlds, I see them with my mind’s eye and start believing in these magical lands. Stardust is about another such place, where every character you meet, no matter how minor, is vivid and alive. Yet, Gaiman is not one for much detail. You will not see pages and pages of characteristics and appearances, which is why he appeals to me so much. I just need to know the basics, the rest I can imagine for myself, and I know that my imagination will be different from everyone else’s, and that will make my experience of the book unique to me!

There are many memorable characters in this book, my favourite being the seven sons of the Eighty-first Lord of Stormhold, and the Lilim. With unicorns, talking trees, talking animals, ships that travel on clouds, and the Fellowship of The Castle, this book is typical Neil Gaiman. I loved it, and no I don’t want to watch the movie. Sorry.

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Review:Luckiest Girl Alive

Rating: 3 Stars

No matter what you think when you see the cover and read the blurb, Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll is NOT a thriller. I went in expecting a thriller, and kept waiting for the twist which never came. I had seen the book on bookstagram, and as always, avoided reading reviews, which is why I never knew what genre the book belonged to. Not to say that I don’t like reading other genres, I do. And this book is not too bad.

I admit I am very squeamish reading about sexual assault and rape, especially so when it is a teenager who is later ostracized for it. It was something that made Bear Town almost unbearable for me even though I was so invested in the characters. This book also made me uncomfortable and angry, but I couldn’t connect with the characters at all.

Ani FaNelli was a character I had really high hopes of; she came off as cunning, ruthless, and a bit twisted in the beginning, and I was waiting for the moment when everything will go to hell because she was intent on taking revenge. So it was a shock when suddenly in the last quarter of the book, she became a victim and lost all the characteristics that Knoll had built over the course of the book.

The story is fast paced and keeps you interested. The past is such a big presence in the present that you want to find out what happened quickly. The author, however, makes you wait for the whole story, which is a testament to the author’s skillful writing. What doesn’t come up to the mark is the climax, or in this case, the lack of one. It is like suddenly it’s all over and we should sympathise with the poor victim, and isn’t it great how everything worked out to prove how strong a woman she is.

After writing in such detail about everything past and present, Knoll suddenly decided to end the book on a high note, with Ani becoming the ultimate hero of her own story. I just felt that there was something missing in that last quarter of the book. I wish I could have enjoyed the last part as much as I enjoyed the rest of the book.

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Review: Lying In Wait

Rating: 3.5 Stars
Warning: Spoilers

Lying In Wait, by Liz Nugent, introduces us to Lydia Fitzsimons, a woman with the perfect life. She lives in a beautiful mansion with her husband and son, both of whom love her unconditionally. Yet Lydia is not satisfied. She wants something more, and her husband will do anything to get it for her, even commit murder. However, it is the consequences of that murder that make it difficult to get up every morning and look in the mirror. Not so for Lydia though. She will go to any length to rise above the unfortunate event.

There are very few characters that inspire the hatred that Lydia does. Her character is one of the most twisted and cold characters that you will ever come across. You don’t want to kill her, you want to run far away from her. She is a dangerous and manipulative woman, incapable of comprehending anything beyond her own wishes and desires. Reading her parts of the story always left me with a chill running through my spine, not wanting to read more, yet compelled to do so.

Laurence, the overweight son of Lydia and Andrew, who is over protected and smothered with motherly love, is the second narrator of this tale. It is difficult to decide whether to give him sympathy or a slap across his face. Clearly, he is a normal person with a guilty conscience at war with his love for his mother. Yet, we also see traces of meanness and cruelty that make him his mother’s son. Throughout the book, he was one person I really did feel sorry for, even with his moronic obedience and love for his crazy mother.

The third narrator, Karen, is the person I liked the least in this book. Her character was as dull as Lydia’s is evil. I would have given this book a higher rating if it hadn’t been for Karen. Other than being beautiful, there isn’t much to recommend her to the reader. Her choices and decisions are so contradictory that you become as confused about her character as she herself is in her life. Somehow, I found it very hard to sympathize with Karen.

The book becomes a bit boring and repetitive halfway through, with things seemingly going round and round in circles. The side characters are somewhat stereotypical, especially Bridget and her family who are shown to be lackluster just to contrast with Karen’s beauty. Yet, Karen is the one who comes out as the bad guy in this whole scenario. It wouldn’t have hurt to make Bridget a bit better looking, and not make her do what she did in the end because it all went against her character. It was unnecessary to turn Bridget into a vindictive bitch just to absolve Andrew and Karen from their selfishness.

The end is chilling and satisfying, though I saw it coming. Lydia’s character stays true to form till the end, and Andrew remains as clueless as ever. Karen’s character remains confused like always. She was so irritating for me that I really thought she got what she deserved.

Overall, a satisfying book for lovers of creepy stories.

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Review: A Place For Us

Rating: 4 Stars

All individuals are a unique sum of their life experiences, so much so that reading the same book at different stages in your life sometimes results in completely different reactions. The place where I am right this moment in my life made A Place For Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza resonate with me very deeply.

The book starts off with the wedding of Hadia, the eldest daughter of Rafiq and Layla. We are immediately made aware of the tensions within the family, as Amar, the youngest and only son, returns after 3 years of leaving his family, to do his duty by his sister. In all this, there is also Huda, the typical middle child, overlooked by not only by the family, but also by the author herself.

As we go back and forth in time, we are given a glimpse into the life of a Muslim couple who moves to the US from India, and try to bring up their three children according to Muslim and Indian traditions and culture. As is the case in most cases, the children all try to rebel in their own individual way.

Being a parent bringing up my kids in a foreign land, while I understand the worries of the parents and their fear of the children losing their religion, I don’t agree with trying to scare them into conforming. As this book shows, pulling the strings too tight causes them to break ultimately. When you have two children who are good at being obedient, it is natural to assume that the same mode of parenting will work on the third. Most of the time this is not so. We, as parents, know our children better than anyone else, and this is why sometimes we need to keep our egos aside and change our ways in order to avoid regrets later.

The book jumps from one time to another without any warning, and as the pattern starts becoming evident, you realize the importance of all the different instances from the eyes of three people, Hadia, Amar and Layla. We see how small betrayals and forgotten reactions all lead to the eventual breaking up of this loving family. We also see how people form opinions according their own understanding of the situation, instead of trying to find the real facts.

It is very sad that open communication is something that is lacking in most of our interactions, especially when it comes to families. In most families, the father is considered the one who lays down the laws, the disciplinarian, the person his own children are hesitant to approach. In such families, the mother assumes the role of the middleman, the one who is responsible for changing the father’s mind. No one realizes that some things are lost in translation when you have indirect communication. This can sometimes cause rifts in families that become almost impossible to breach over time.

As I read the book, there were a few instances where I felt that the writer did give in to stereotypes, and the constant strain of “The Ali Boy” was really getting on my nerves. So, I was completely ready to give this book 4 stars and move on. Then came the last part.

What was missing in the whole book was there in the last part. As I read about a man trying to do his best by his family, I couldn’t help but feel for that man. A person brought up to hide his feelings can never feel comfortable letting his emotions show. The way Mirza has written about Rafiq’s thoughts is moving and heart wrenching. The struggles of a father who is unable to voice his love for his children, are brought to life in the last part of the book. I couldn’t help but think of my own father, who while lying in bed, too sick to move, and in so much pain, was worried about how he had been unfair to his son! It all felt personal, and I want to admit that I cried while reading the last part of this beautiful book.

This is a book that is meant for everyone. I even found myself wanting my teenage son to read it even if only to understand how parents love their children in their own different ways. A beautiful book that will stay with me for a long time.

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Sunday Talks: …But What About The Classics?

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of the ability to read, must be made to read The Classics (with due apology to Jane Austen. Pride And Prejudice remains a favourite of mine).

Ever since I can remember, people have been telling me to read classics and learn to appreciate them. In school, these books were stuffed down our throats until we wanted to tear our hair out. Whenever I asked for suggestions about what to read, the answer would invariably be some classic or the other before even asking me if I was interested. That was only because it is considered unthinkable that you haven’t read at least some “Classic” authors.

Later on, it became a matter of pride to tell people how you have read the most difficult books and love them to no end. Unfortunately, I have never learned to appreciate the “Classics” bar a few which took my fancy at an early age.

Shakespeare has never been a favourite. It might have something to do with reading the abridged form of all his plays for school, but even after reading a few full plays, I have never been impressed. Same goes of Charles Dickens and Thomas Hardy. The only Dickens that I have ever liked is A Tale of Two Cities, and as for Hardy, I admit to having fallen asleep while reading Far From The Madding Crowd.

I can go on and on about books that everyone swears by and that have failed to move me. There have been a few books that have managed to touch me as well, but as a rule I have failed to find an author about whom I can say that I like all their work (unless they have only written one book, and I have liked that book).

It has taken me almost four decades to admit that I have lied about having read a book simply because I was afraid of being judged. Even when I was a kid, I never admitted to anyone how I didn’t find Black Beauty interesting at all, or how Heidi seemed to be a very boring little girl! I think I’m still a bit afraid to say it out loud.

I’m not saying I don’t like classics at all. Some have stayed close to my heart, and even now I don’t know why I like them. Alice In Wonderland, Pride And Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, Rebecca to name a few.

The reason I thought about all this is that my kids refuse to read any “old” books that I tell them to. They want to read what they like, and they’re unapologetic about it. If my daughter doesn’t like Charlotte’s Web, and my son finds Pinocchio insufferable, they don’t hesitate to say it. Over the years, I have learned to stop nagging them about what they “should” read, and started paying more attention to what they “want” to read.

There was a time I used to fill the kids’ shelves with books that I had been given to read when I was their age, forgetting about how I myself felt about these books at that age. Then, when the kids didn’t read them, I got angry because I had spent so much money. I screamed and shouted, and swore never to get them another book again, yet not being able to stop buying more of the same.

My children have made me realize that there is no such thing as a classic. Any well-written book that holds their attention, is a classic for them. And that is how it should be. I shouldn’t expect a 10-year old to care about 19th Century England, when he lives in 21st Century Middle East. I shouldn’t expect a 9-year old to want to know about travelling in horse carts when she has never even experienced public buses. They will get there in due time…if they want to.

Reading books should be about your own likes and interests. It shouldn’t be about what others think you should read, nor should it be about showing off to the world how well-read you are. It is only when we let them enjoy the experience, that people will turn to reading and books. Read and let others read in peace.

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